across a frozenlake,

the blades of their skates

skimming over the ice.

The forest was white as

snow it slushy, slippery

and icy. The magical gleaming

of the sparkling snowflakes.

The cliff was breathtaking

slippery bumpy, prickly also

skiddy and very dangerous

Sad Poem

Tomorrow my Mum is going to die.

I am so sad, I have had my hair cut off,

Because I keep ripping it out in despair.

My Mum is the greatest thing that ever happened to me, and now she has cancer

I might never be the same again.

The funny thing is, I have never showed my affection in the way I should.

My new born brother has just pulled through

I am so happy I could go despair.

He has a big smile in the shape of a banana

And blue eyes that sparkle like emeralds.

My new brother is the greatest thing that ever happened to me

And I love him for that.

MY DETECTIVE STORY

Hello, my name is Barbara and I live at 56 Rigit road. I have a son named Marcus and a husband named John.

I am really down at the moment because my son has left me to go to college so it is really boring around the house. Me and John were getting ratty with each other so I went to the job centre looking for a job to get my mind off things. So I got the bus the number "6" into town and went in. They showed me to this very good-looking young man, and nice, too.

He said "yes there’s a job here at the police station"

This was perfect for me I thought to myself.

"I’ll take it."

My first day I was a bit nervous but I acted like I was confident.

"Your first job is to clean the toilets" the head cleaner said. So I got my brush and went in. I was surprised at the mess and in the policeman’s toilet too. It took me one whole hour to do it, it was sparkling clean, she said to me

‘very good job, Barb - can I call you Barb?’

‘Yes, I’d like that’

‘You can now clean the superintendent’s office.’

I thought - I’ll get to know him, so I did, and found out he was a bit stressed. His tie was hanging down, and his top two buttons were open, and his hair was a right mess. Anyway, I said

‘Hello, I’m the new cleaner’

‘Yes, just get on with the cleaning’, he said rudely.

Then I saw it. On his filing cabinet I saw this information page saying, that a painting had been stolen in a hotel in York. It was a Van Gogh.

What a coincidence. The over 60s were thinking about a trip to York. Perhaps I should go to this hotel.

I GOT INTERESTED

I got interested in this, and asked the superintendent about it. He said,

‘look, you’re not an inspector, are you, you’re just a cleaner’

So I just walked out I asked John about it and he said,

‘Yeah, sounds interesting, doesn’t it?’

So the next day I asked the head cleaner if I could just have the weekend off. She said, ‘OK seeing as you have done so well over the first few weeks’.

I thought I would go over to York and into the hotel of the incident, and see what it was like.

HOW I GOT THERE

Now this was a big big ordeal. I asked for a lift off Grandpa, but no, too busy. I asked John, no, too busy. By this time I was tearing my curly grey hair out, until it was not curly anymore. In the end I had to get the coach with all the other oldies. It was smelly and the seat had crumpled up crisp packets on it. Half way we stopped. At the service station I got a cappuccino and Women’s Own magazine, which I collect at home - I’m very proud of my collection. We got on a different coach for the rest of the journey. A lot nicer for me, and all my fellow over 60s.

THE HOTEL

Now this was very very sophisticated and more to my and the ladies liking. There was a nice archway which was white marble, and then when you got in there was a very nice mahogany wood table - about fifteen yards long, with flowers all along it. I could see this place was a beauty, and the man who owned it must have been quite well-off.

The next day, I had a little look around, and saw what looked like a fellow cleaner, so I went over and said

‘Hello, my name is Barbara. I am a cleaner too.’

‘How are you,’ she replied. We started chatting. I said,

‘What’s it like working here’

‘Oh well, it’s OK, but our boss the owner is not very nice.’

she sniggered and said "I should not really laugh but from what I have heard he’s in a bit of trouble financially.’

‘Oh, right.....’

The next day was my last in York, and I was determined to get to the bottom of this, so I confronted the so-called ‘Dave’. I said to him

‘Nice day, huh?’

‘Yeah’ he said, looking at me weirdly.

‘Are you enjoying your stay?’ he said,

‘Yes from the looks of it, we all are’, looking at my fellow over 60s out of the window.

‘I bet you’re upset about the painting’

He replied, ‘Yes very’, but it wasn’t as convincing as it sounds.

I followed him for the rest of the day.

CONCLUSION

Later that day I heard him on the phone, saying to what sounded like a man,

‘Everything’s set’

He replied ‘Yes, it’s all in order, did you get the insurance?’

‘Yes’

Lucky I had brought my trusty basket, the one I carry on my red bike. It has all my detective things, including the little tape recorder, and good job I turned it on while he was speaking on the phone.

THE TRIAL

David McGuigan was sentenced to four years, and Barbara Willfred got a promotion to head cleaner seeing as the old one retired.

Tune in next time, same old time, same old place.

PS Her son got a job as the new superintendent, after the other one had a nervous breakdown.

They make me always lose

I am really sad

Coz they won't fit in my bag

I have a shirt named Bert

It lives in the dirt

His sisyter is called Liz

Her shirt is called Fizz

I have trousers that look like flowers

They always fall down

And give me a frown.

I love cartoons

Especially the ones that fly

For instance Tweety Pie

He is yellow

And always getting chased by Sylvester the cat

Who is black and white

Oh and then there's that Bugs Bunny

He is grey and has big ears

He fears

Donald Duck

Who goes quack quack

And is scared of Jack

Road Runner's fast

Faster than you can say 'Mee mee'

Wiley Coyote hates him

But he can never seem to catch……..

………….him